Do You Use Shame to Motivate Yourself?

We all have an Inner Critic. It’s our inner voice that is highly critical of our actions, outcomes, and behaviors.

My question is, –do you use your inner critic and shame to motivate yourself?

Do you listen and believe the harsh voice in your head and then let it bully you into making a decision?

  • Perhaps a decision you didn’t really want buuuut….
  • Perhaps talking yourselves into a dietary cleanse because….
  • Or going to work out, even though your low back is feeling sore,  because….

The inner critic is bullying you when any scenario drags you beyond your body’s desire. Where you feel like you are answering to some invisible and threatening voice.

I remember this voice decades ago during my frantic fitness instructor days. I had to work out every day, “…or else you’ll get fat. Look ugly. Be out of shape.” That was the primary, repetitive, inner-critic voice that motivated me nearly every single day.

That’s no way to live. And it eventually gets old. And draining. And frankly, pretty un-fun.

It wasn’t until I began to listen and sense my body that I began to cultivate a healthy relationship with my body. Now I’m able to listen and respond to the needs of my body because I hear my body’s voice. Not a critical, mental, unrealistic bully!

The inner critic/bully says, “do this or else _____.”

How do you turn the volume down on your inner critic?

I invite you to start by shining a light on that critical voice in our heard. Use your non-judgemental awareness. Look at that bully with curiosity, instead of judgment.

Ask, your inner critic, “what are you so afraid of?” Or maybe the questions is, “what are you so angry about?”

Once we give voice to our inner critic, we can begin to understand what is motivating this harmful self-talk. And instead of following the destructive directions, we can observe and questions them.

And ultimately, we can respond to our inner bully from an embodied place (connected to the desires of our body), that empowers us with healthier, more loving options instead of direct orders.

Want to silence your inner critic and live more from an embodied place? Check out my latest book  Getting Happy with Your Body: How to Live in, Learn from and Love your Body Once and For All.


Photo by Raquel Santana

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